Bones goes to Hollywood
by celtic33
Summary: Booth and Brennan investigate a mass murder at a tv set. In response to the promo for "The Perfect Pieces in the Purple Pond" slight spoilers. Thanks to blc for being my beta.


**A/N:** I don't own anything. Well maybe the writing but the characters or songs. Nope not a one.

**A/N2:** I want to thank BLC for lighting this creative spark and for being my beta. You rock!

"Bones," Agent Booth said as he walked through his partner's office door. "We've got a case. Pack you stuff because we're going to Hollywood."

"Hollywood," she said inquisitively, "what is it?"

"It's a place where they make movies but that's not important right now."

"What's the estimated time duration so I can appropriately pack?"

"We'll be there a few days and I'm sure whatever swanky hotel they put you up in has a laundry service if we're there longer," he said with a pout. "I only the other hand will be staying in some seedy motel because the government can't afford to upgrade to at least a two star hotel while they spend thousands on a toilet seat."

"Wow, channeling your inner Hodgins much?" she said as she hoped the jest would ease the tension in his furrowed brow. "Well if it's that bad, I'm sure my luxury suite will at least have a couch that you can stay on."

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"Bones, you know what I don't understand? Airlines no longer serve peanuts because of peanut allergies so instead they give you pretzels, right? But if you read the packaging, it says clearly that they were made in a plant that processes nuts. What's up with that?"

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"Agent Booth and Dr. Brennan; welcome to Hollywood," the incident commander said.

"Thank you Officer Johnson," Booth replied with a manly handshake. "What have we got?"

"Well it appears to be a mass murder. I'm not entirely sure if all of the bodies have been accounted for yet but it seems like it's just about everyone involved in the show."

"What show?" Brennan asked.

"Oh I don't know," Johnson said as he shook his head. "It's some procedural drama about some scientist and an FBI agent. I've never watched myself but I've heard good things about it."

"Thanks we'll take it from here," Booth said.

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"Dr. Brennan," Cam said via the video link, "you were right. We've indentified all of victims as being show employees but not the actors themselves."

"It would appear though, that the producers and writers were the focus point of the murder," Brennan said. "An assumption could be made that the deaths of the rest of the crew were incidental."

"I concur," Booth added. "I mean who would kill the gaffer, the lighting guy, the caterer, the costume designer but would spare the actual actors?"

"Maybe you should question them?" Cam asked.

"We're just waiting for them to be rounded up," Booth said. "I mean c'mon Camille, I'm a special Agent. Did you think that wasn't already in the works?"

"No need to get snippy Seeley," she said curtly. "We've identified the weapons used in these murders. It would appear that blunt force trauma was caused by numerous devices."

"Here's the list," Hodgins chimed in. "Half of the victims were killed by shod feet by either stomping or kicking while the others seemed to be equipment that was on set such as chairs, microphones, the clapboard marking scene changes, wires, and there was at least one guy who was bashed repeatedly with a video camera."

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"Booth?" she asked her partner as they looked through the way mirror at the potential perps. "Does it feel very familiar to you? I mean these actors; they all seem very familiar to me."

"I know what you mean," he replied. "See there's the shorter hirsute guy with curly hair and the chic-hippy Eurasian woman with the big smile. There's the slightly awkward younger guy with large teeth, there's the polished career woman with control issues. There's the slightly geeky socially stunted guy with the floppy hair. That only leaves the other two."

"He's wearing a designer suit that is clearly tailored to cling to his well structured physique," she said.

"And the attractive woman with the clunky necklace that brings the eyes down to her impressive cleavage," he said.

She rolled her eyes and slapped him on the shoulder. "I understand a man's underlying fascination with breasts but you don't have to stare."

"I'm not staring," he said apologetically as he turned to his partner and his eyes drifted down to the clunky necklace at her neck causing his eyes to drop lower and fantasize about a being at a carnival bouncy castle.

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"So you all have means and motive and the unusual trait that you're all still alive while everyone else involved in your show was brutally murdered," he said. "So who's going to confess first?"

"Hey, none of us would bite the hand that feeds us okay," the actor in the expensive suit said. "We just became producers on the show to try and wrangle better story lines."

"Exactly," the attractive necklace wearing woman said. "Unfortunately, we were very limited in our input but none of us murdered anyone."

"The ratings were good and the fan base kept growing," the shorter hairy guy said. "Without the producers and executives, how are we supposed to keep the show going?"

"And further more who's going to pay us now as we seem to be out of work," the floppy haired guy said.

"Sweeties," the fashionably hippy woman chimed in. "Just because we thought some of the plot contrivances were bizarre and didn't hold true to canon doesn't mean we didn't realize that work is work and there are thousands of actors just waiting for a break."

"That's a lot of competition," the polished woman said. "And for an actress who's not getting any younger, there's not a lot of chances left to cash in."

"I don't want to wait tables again," the awkward big toothed guy said. "I just bought a house and a car. Why would any of us do this?"

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"Okay so the actors are just as much victims now that they're going to be unemployed," she said.

"Well the FBI forensics team found an extra six thousand finger prints all over the set," he said. "Could it be a mob of fans angry with a new storyline?"

"That sounds reasonable," she said. "But I never knew that there could be that level of devotion to a show. That fan base must be enormous which means the suspect list could cover any fan within driving distance to the set."

"Brennan," she said as she answered the phone, interrupting their conversation.

"I did a little research online and there are hundreds of internet communities devoted to this show," Angela said. "There's message boards, videos and even something called fanfiction."

"Fanfiction, what's that?" Booth asked.

"Well some of these people are so passionate about the characters of the show that they write stories about them," Angela said. "Some of them are really steamy, even for me. But most of them seem to revolve around the two main characters love for each other or their denial over said love. It all reminds me of something but I can't place it."

"So have you checked the latest postings to see if there's anything there?" Brennan asked.

"Well believe it or not, but after last night's episode there was a promo for next week's episode where the scientist supposedly puts the moves on her young intern," she replied. "There's already major outcry from the fans that want the two main characters to get together and this new plot must be pushing them over the edge."

"Why would a character, that just two weeks ago was having a heart to heart about there being one true love then dismiss it, try and hook up with someone fifteen years younger?" Hodgins asked.

"So you watch the show?" Brennan asked.

"Well I really connect with one of the characters and there's another character that reminds me of my lovely Angela," he replied as his fiancé kissed him.

"You know with a fan base that passionate," Booth said, "it'd be a shame if it had to stop simply because the powers that be got killed."

"What about solving the crime?" Sweets asked. "I mean this is how we roll right?"

"I've got a cease and desist letter from Caroline Julian, who's apparently a fan of the show, that says the case is considered closed," Booth said. "And I quote: _Cheries, The only heinous act that occurred here was that the powers that be didn't get what was coming to them sooner. The Attorney General and all of the Supreme Court Justices are fans of the show and aren't going to press charges on the international fan base that is roughly in the millions of people."_

"So that's that then," Hodgins said.

"Booth, you have a BA in English right?" Brennan asked.

"Yeah, with a minor in sociology," he replied, "and a Masters in Criminal Justice."

"Hodgins, I have an investment opportunity for you and we call all be involved," Brennan stated.

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"You know it's amazing that our squint squad can multi task as well as they can," Booth said proudly.

"I had no reservations about their abilities," Brennan said. "I mean after building bridge, running a television show is nothing."

"Plus it brought us together," he said as he enveloped her hand in his while he looked down at their wedding bands. "Sometimes people just need to take control of their lives and do what they want."

"Alright you two," a very pregnant Angela said. "I think it's truly amazing that we can all participate in the show and work fulltime at the Jeffersonian."

"It was a great idea to bring the show to D.C. so we could all help," Hodgins said as he rested his hands on his wife's stomach. "And with the hiring of some fanfiction authors, the storylines are great and in canon."

"All we needed to do was verify the science aspects are correct and let the show take off," Cam said with a smile.

"So we can keep catching bad guys," Sweets said excitedly. "This is how we roll, right guys?"

Everyone rolled their eyes and turned to walk away.

He looked surprised before channeling his inner Rodney Dangerfield, "I tell ya, I get no respect."

(insert laugh track here as show fades to black)


End file.
